Ironic Chef On Cows

Hamburger, ground chuck, steaks, ribs, meatballs, sausage, SOS, goulash, stroganof, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy's, Taco Bell, lol. Mmmmmmm, love them Bovines.

I don't care how mad the cow is I'll eat it and if I go rabid and crazy I'll just bite the nearest Vegan. I hope someone from Fox News is nearby with the camera rolling when myself, foaming at the mouth chomps down on some under nourished, anorexic little hippie.

I can't forget veal either. Of course I'm not talking about eating some critter locked in a little box kept in a cool dark corner of a barn basement. I like to eat meat but I would never agree with anything that in humane.

The recipe I am going to start off with as a matter of fact is one of my favorites. Veal Scalopine.

Veal Scalopine is a really easy and delicious dish. I like to get veal cutlets from the grocery store and then I pound them out very thin. The thinner the better. To prepare them I just dredge the thin cutlets in flour that has been seasoned with salt and pepper. Shake of the excess and then pan fry them in olive oil over medium high heat until golden brown. I then drain the Scalopine on paper towels and make a simple sauce by de-glazing the pan with about a half cup of white wine or lemon juice, add a few pats of butter, some fresh chopped garlic, and after the flour and butter are worked together I stir in about 2 cups of chicken stock. salt and pepper to taste. I usually use the dredging flour but always check the taste to see if the sauce needs something. I don't make a real thick gravy sauce. this sauce is really light. I then add the Scalopine Back to the sauce and simmer for about 10 to 15 minutes. The Scalopine gets so tender that when you eat it it will literally melt in your mouth.

Hamburgers, I keep mine really simple, I get the barbecue nice and hot. I season my ground beef with salt and pepper and about 1/4 cup of Worcestershire sauce. Mix well, shape into patties and grill until the juices of the beef run clear. mmmmm, I love beef, lol.

Steak, I like NY strip. Again, the grill, Nice and hot. Hold your hand over it and count 1 mississippi, 2 mississippi, 3 ouch and you have the right heat. I like to season my steak with a salt, pepper, garlic, paprika and brown sugar and hot pepper rub and cook my steaks to a nice medium rare. I don't want blood running across my cutting board after I have let my steak rest for about 10 minutes when I go to eat it. Once in awhile though I do like to use a McCormick Mesquite rub.

Ribs, I love ribs. Specially short ribs. I use the same rub I used on the steaks and then smoke my ribs on the grill. I set my coals on 2 sides of the grill and set a drip pan in the center and place wood chips that have been soaked in water right onto the coals. I like to use wood/chips that have come from fruit trees like apple or peach. I do not like red oak by any means. I try to keep the temperature of the grill low and grill slow. If any one tries this, make sure you put the vent holes on your cover over the ribs so the smoke is pulled over them. Each charcoal briquet's gives you about 15 degrees so use enough to keep the grill at about 250 degrees. I don't like to have an over smoked flavor so I only smoke the ribs for about 4 hours. I then get the heat up to hot and glaze my ribs with the following sauce. One onion, sauteed, 2 cloves of garlic in with the onions, lol. Into a sauce pan with the onions, 3/4 cups of brown sugar, 1/4 cup of honey, A good dollop of brown spicy mustard, 1 tablespoon of horseradish, a cup of good catsup, hot sauce to taste, and a dash or so of salt. I cook this down to the consistency that I want. I do not like molasses at all and do not like it in my sauce. I brush the ribs with the sauce and turn them constantly so that the glaze doesn't burn.

My favorite of all time beef products though is going to be a real shocker to everyone.

PEPPERONI,. any way you want to cook it or serve it.