The Stench Of "Putrid"

The Stench Of “Putrid”

 

 

       It seems that the stories that have been circulating about Putrid Maggot Infestation always seem to get around to what most will describe to be such a God awful foul stench that Putrid leaves in his wake.  One of rotting flesh and of course that leads to the maggot infestation can only be described as putrid.  20 years of rotting and not bathing tends to produce noxious gasses that tend to overwhelm even the bravest of noses.

       Surely the victims of Putrid are truly the ones that have suffered the most from these noxious fumes. The odors that are omitted from Putrid force every tiny bit of fresh air out of ones body. As the noxious vapors weaken a victim their skin slowly starts to turn a pale green color. The strength within a victim slowly weakens until there are no more defenses.  The victim’s body slowly deteriorates from the inside out. 

       Rumors have it that the National Defense Agency has been working on a vaccine after several high Officials were alleged to have been victims of Putrid. The foul stench left at the scenes of the missing Officials was analyzed and had been determined the foulest smell known to mankind. The government to work on this project has called in several major cosmetic manufacturers to consult on the vaccine. To date the studies and research have seemed futile but annalists have speculated that future research looks very promising.

      For now the only defense that can be advised to protect one from Putrid is to be aware and alert for the stench. If a foul stench is smelled then take precautionary measures. If the stench is detected take measures to get out of the vicinity of the odor.  Once safe and the air is clean take deep even breaths of air to help remove any damaging affects and seek medical assistance immediately. A strong regiment of antibiotics at this time has been determined the only affective treatment of long-term affects.

       Putrid and his stench are out there. Beware and take heed of the warnings and advisories concerning this matter.

 

Maclll

Tales From Booohaha

 

      

 

      

 

      

 

Putrid's First Victim Of 2006

Putrid’s First Strike

 

 

Evening has settled and now Putrid must hunt for a victim. The roads are empty this evening so the Internet shall be the hunting grounds tonight.

Someone out there has drawn attention to herself. A Witch to Putrid’s understanding that has made herself a designer of others Halloween costumes and has a head of beautiful serpant hair.. Putrid has sensed mockery from this Witch and her offensive gas mask remarks.  Yes, tonight Putrid will go “Trick Or Treating”.

Putrid knows that this Witch likes to make week end get a ways but senses that this week end the pray may be at home and sitting in front of her new computer. Her broom stick will not provide her with a getaway for her man will be out for a joy ride on it chasing Arkansas critters into the highways, his means of shopping for fast food.

 

Putrid arrived behind the Witch’s computer screen without being detected and the Witch could hear the tapping of the hammer but forgot the earlier stories that she had heard of Putrid. Chains,yea, right.  As the foul odor began wafting into her world she started gagging and gasping for breath. Where was her gas mask? She had been warned but she obviously had been laughing. Yes, this was the victim for Putrid. Putrid reached out of the computer screen as the Witch had her head down gasping for air. The witch felt the cold clammy grip that Putrid had place upon her but it was to late. No matter how hard she struggled she could not escape. Slowly the witch tired from her struggle and was slowly pulled into Putrid’s world. Putrid left a little pile of maggots in the Witch’s Computer chair so that others would know that he was there and to give credence to the stories about himself.

Now Putrid has had his “Treat” and someone else to ride upon the hay wagon with him on the cool dark fall evenings looking for more “Trick Or Treats”.  There are plenty of empty hay bales on the wagon that need passengers.

 

Who shall be next? Eyes the One Hiding Behind The Curtain In Odd

 

 

 

Maclll

Tales From Booohaha

 

Part 2 Of Scary Story (Tales From Booohahaha)

                              Putrid Returns

 

 

 

 

       Just another cool crisp night, normal for mid fall in the northeast. There was a little dampness in the air and the leaves were turning magnificent colors.  The night had an eerie feeling to it only understood by the locals of this quiet New Jersey suburb.  The locals knew That Putrid was out there.

       Stories of fear were passed through the mouths of the locals to the ears of anyone that was interested in the tales of their local legend.  Some locals have said that one creature of their tales has been wandering the darkness for almost 20 years in search of Tricks Or Treats of the morbid kind and prowled in the evenings darkness to reap it’s ghastly rewards.

       Every October a creature that has been named Putrid Maggot Infestation has been seen with others of its kind traveling the farm roads riding in  hay wagons in search of treats. The treats they are in search of are of some unsuspecting traveler unaware of the dangers that they are in.

       Putrid is the leader. No one knows why but it seems that all of the creatures have accepted this. Much speculation over this has led many to believe that Putrid’s lack of mercy may be the reason for the leadership. Speculation is just that, speculation.

       In the world of the creatures the rules of survival are different than those of the civilized world.  Before Putrid’s time there was no order. Each creature just had the herd mentality. Where the other creatures went it went. What the other creature did, it did. There was no reason for it or their actions it was just what the creatures did. It was their purpose for existence.  The only purpose the creatures had was to attack the unexpecting.  To feed on the victims brains and to build their numbers. Each of the creatures had once been a victim.

Each of the creatures transforms back into its human form after the last full moon of October and during the day light hours. None have any memory of their ghastly transformation or of their  ghoulish deads done under cover of the darkness of night..   Each year the creatures all come together and cause havoc and another story for the locals to tell.

 

Putrid has been signaled out for most of these stories for this creature is known due to its recognizable features.  The features that stands out in most stories is the Maggots that spill out of the gaping holes in Putrid’s flesh, the smell that Putrid omits is that of fermenting road kill and the hammer that Putrid always wields to attack the victims or the other creatures that attempt to get in the way.

 

So this night, The locals will not venture out  now.  Beware, for if a car doesn’t come down the country roads of this suburban town then Putrid will start looking to feed elsewhere. Putrid has learned of the Internet. If you hear the tapping of a hammer on your computer screen and a foul smell starts to invade your lungs, you are in trouble. You can run but you cannot hide. Once Putrid smells your scent you are doomed.  The Hay wagon will arrive and a seat on it will be reserved for you.

 

 

Mac lll

 

 

 

 

Scary Story, Booohahaha

About 20 years ago I was driving home from work one night after working a 12 hour day. The ride took me through farm country where several farmers had grown pumpkin patches just for that time of year. Of course the time of year was around late October just before Halloween. Well these pumpkin patches were grown so that farmers could make a little extra money by providing haunted hay rides and allow pumpkins to be picked during a brief break of seeing all the scary haunted stuff.

So there I was driving. The air was crisp and cool and I of course had my truck window down enjoying the ride. I came up behind a tractor pulling a wagon with hay bales on it and I could make out that there was what seemed to be people sitting on the hay bales, so I naturally assumed that this was a haunted hay ride. The tractor must have been doing about 5 miles an hour and me as usual, wanting to get home instead of putzing along, started to pass on the left. 

As I started to pass the Wagon I did a double take. It looked to me that the folks on the back were celebrating Halloween a little early. I chuckled to myself  over how corny their costumes were. I would have thought that grown adults would do just a little more than dress up like zombies. Seemed to me at the time that as Kids we would throw on some old cloths, mess up our hair and walk like the living dead for a quick trick or treat costume.

I felt a thump as one of the passengers jumped from the wagon to the bed of my pickup. Then a thump, thump thump as more made the leap. An arm shot through my open window and hooked around my neck. The arm was cold and clammy and smelled of a putrid smell of rotting road kill. I yanked free from the grip with the hand I wasn't holding the wheel with and slammed on the brakes. I heard the thumps and then watched as the bodies went flying over my windshield and over the hood. I saw the face of one as the body slid down.

I reached for my tool belt on the passenger side floor and grabbed my hammer and jumped out my door ready to clobber the first sucker that came near me and clobber I did. No sooner did my feet hit the ground,  I again was grabbed. My hammer was ready and held high and came down with a sickening thud as if in slow motion. I was expecting to be showered with blood but instead got maggots. Shocked I stepped backwards to jump back into the truck and get the heck outta there but that wasn't happening. Atleast a dozen hands seemed to come out of the darkness and grabbed me. I fought until exhaustion overtook me and the last I remember from that night was being dragged to the ground.

Now every year from about early October until Halloween I am one of them. I have my seat on the wagon and am waiting for someone in a hurry to get home, drives by laughing at my silly Costume. Yes, I am "Putrid Rotted Maggot Infestation" and I am after my "Trick or Treats"

Story By Mac

Homeade Bread ( Master Dough)

As a child I grew up in a farming family. We never had much money and at times very little food. We were a family of 9 and thats alot of mouths to feed. I can remember as a child being told by my mother that her family when living through the great depression had a belief that as long as one had flour, milk  and potatoes no one would ever starve.  So those 3 items were always on hand in our home.

Our home was heated with a wood stove on the first floor. Believe me when I tell you that Up State NY had some real cold winters and we froze our butts off with all of us kids with our bedroom on the 2nd floor. The trip to the outhouse I am sure is mentioned in a past blog. Seeing seven kids all getting dressed around the stove in the morning was rather funny.

The one good thing that I remember about certain frigid cold nights was when my mother baked  bread. Getting that big hunk of hot bread right out of the oven with the melted butter on it was so good. The crust was just right and the bread was so soft and chewy.  Ones whole inner being was warmed up from a simple piece of bread. To me homeade bred is number one as far as comfort foods go. I know, chocolate, ice cream, mashed potatoes,meat loaf ect ect is usually number one on most list but I believe that bread is .

I never had the chance to get my mothers bread recipe. She passed away about 22 years ago.  I tried for years to make bread but all of my results never met my aproval. First I couldn't get the dough to rise, next the bread was to crumbly, then the crust wasn't right and on and on. It took me almost 8 years to learn how to make really good bread. I had to learn a more scientific aproach. Now I make breads galore. I have even learned to make bread the ways of the ancient ones without using store bought yeast. I also make sour dough breads using the same principals.

My basic bread dough is also used for so many other things. Thats why I call it my master dough. I use it for pastries, dumplins, rolls, biscuts, Pizza, strombolies, calzones, runzas ect. I may tweak the dough by using olive oil for the butter or increase the amount of sugar for something sweet but the basic dough is the starter. I also always save just a little piece of the finished dough to use as a starter or a (Poolish) for my next batch of dough. My Starter that I have in the fridge right now has been in every basic dough that I have made for the last 12 years.

To start my basic dough I add my piece of starter dough to 2 cups of luke warm water with one packette of quick rise yeast to your mixing bowl. When I say warm water I mean put your hand under the faucet and when your mind says ahhh it's just right. Mix the water, yeast and starter together until the starter disolves. Add 2 tablespoons of sugar and mix briefly. I use a Kitchen Aid now a days but this can all be done by hand.  If you don't have that piece of starter dough don't worry about it. Just act like it's not in the recipe.

Add 3 cups of flour to the mixing bowl. Add 4 Tablespoons of melted butter or vegtable oil and 2 teaspoons of salt. With a dough hook start mixing. If using a bowl mix the ingredients so far with a wooden spoon. Mix for about 10 minutes to build up gluten. This is the secret to a good dough. The more it is kneaded the better the texture the bread will have. Bread that is crumbly and breaks easily is because the gluten wasn't formed well enough. After the dough has been mixed for 10 minutes add 3 more cups of flour. lol, make sure your mixer is off before adding or you will have one heck of a mess on your hands. After adding the 3 cups of flour mix until the dough forms a ball and all the dough stuck on the side of the bowl is now in the ball. If you notice that on the bottom of the bowl there is dough sticking add about 1/4 of a cup of flour. If your dough seems to dry add a tablespoon of water. Mix the dough for about 5 minutes. At this point I like to make the dough personal. I always hand knead the dough after it comes out of the mixer for about 5 minutes. My method of kneading is to put a little flour on the counter top. Lay the dough on the flour. Flatten the dough and then roll it into a log. Flatten again, turn 1/4 turn and roll again, repeat this process for 5 minutes.

When letting a dough rise, the longer it is allowed to rise the better the flavor of the finished product you will have. If you notice I only use 1 packette of yeast for this recipe. You will have enough dough here for 2 loaves of bread. Most recipes would call for 2 packettes of yeast. I only use one because it will allow for a longer rising time. I like to place the kneaded dough in a large bowl that has been oiled.If you want a starter piece for your next batch of dough pinch off about a small handful at this point and put it in a Ziplock bag and stick it in the fridge. I put the dough in the bowl and then flip it. I then Cover the bowl and put it in the fridge and allow it to ferment over night. I take it out of the fridge and allow it to come to room temp. I then remove it from the bowl and knead it gently for a few minutes and then let it rest for about 20 minutes. If I want to make the bread using bread pans devide the dough into 2 equal pieces, flatten and then roll each piece jelly roll style tightly and then pinch the seam closed. Place the dough seam side down in a lightly oiled bread pan and allow to double in size. Usually this will take about an hour. Make sure to cover the rising dough with a piece of plastic wrap. I will preheat my oven at this point to 425 degrees. Allow the oven to preheat fo a good hour before placing your bread in it. Always bake your bread on a rack placed in the center of the oven. Before the bread goes into the oven, with a real sharp knife, score the center of the loaf cutting about a half inch deep. This will allow the bread to vent while baking. If you don't do this the crust will crack  as if it exploded when the dough rises and the gasses have no wheres to escape to.  After I place the bread in the oven I like to spray the inside of the oven real fast with a mist bottle of water. I will mist again after about 3 minutes. This misting give a little boost to the rising while the bread bakes. Allow the bread to bake for about 30 minutes. When the bread has that nice golden brown it should be done. When I remove it from the oven I will take it out of the bread pans right away. Allow the bread to cool for atleast 10 minutes before cutting it. If you would like a softer crust on your bread cover it with a damp towel while it cools.

Sometimes while preparing the dough durring the final process and I am getting ready to roll it up jelly roll style I like to add something a little special. The one that my kids like best I share with you now. Before I roll the dough up I like to coat the flat surface with olive oil or melted butter. I then use the Italian Salad dressing mix that comes in the little packettes  and sprinkle over the entire surface except for the edges. Then I roll it up. For this I don't use loaf pans but a sheet pan. I roll it up, pinch the seam closed. Roll it until it's long like an Italian or french loaf size.  This is if you like garlic bread one of the best ever.

I am sure this was long winded but I am proud of my breads and doughs and I wanted to tell it right. It would be so easy to just say mix this and that and then bake it but I have been there and tried that and it has never produced anything of quality.

I would like to mention a Bread Book that I found many years ago and love. The name of the book is called Bread Alone and the Authors name is Dan Lerner. I learned alot from this guy and his book.  I caught him on a PBS cooking show many years ago concerning Levain (no Yeast) and had to get the book and It's the best book concerning bread baking that I ever bought. 

A Few Quick Dinners

I am sure we have all had to many of "one of those days" and just don't feel like cooking when we get home.  Fast food is becoming the way of life for many American families. When I was a kid I loved getting a fast food burger because it was really something special. The days when McDonalds didn't have the billions and billions served sign. Today I can't stand fast food burgers. They are so boring. I like Chinese take out but again, it gets very boring too. Fried chicken and pizza and Taco Bell, same thing. I wait for a new item to come out and of course try to make my own version of it and it is enjoyed more because the products I use to make it are of a better quality.

McDonalds has come out with what I guess they call a chicken snack wrap. My 15 year old daughter, God Bless her, decided that she wanted to take the lead on this one. So the items on the shopping list was a bag of Tyson crispy Chicken Tenders. They have to be the Crispy tenders because Tysons regular chicken tenders are like chicken nuggets.  Whole wheat soft tortillas, iceburg lettuce, one onion and a bottle of a good Ranch or creamy Italian salad dressing and a Cheddar or jck cheese shredded.

To make the Chicken snack wrappers, deep fry atleast 2 chicken tenders for each wrap that you want to make. Slice one slice of onion per wrap and dice. Shred about 3/4 cups of lettuce for each wrap. Add onion and lettuce in a bowl and add enough salad dressing to taste and mix well. We like to soften our tortillas by opening the plastic wrapper and then nuking the whole package for about a minute. (10" wrappers by the way). Lay each wrapper flat and place the salad mixture in the centers, devide evenly. Lay the chicken tenders over the salad mixture.  Place some Shredded Cheddar or Jack cheese over the top and fold wrap by first folding up bottom edge and then rolling from one side to close. Total time for a meal is about 20 minutes tops.

My quick meal is to get two packages of Lipton Sour Cream and Chive mashed potatoes and prepare them using the directions on the box. Bake or deep fry about 40 pieces of Tyson Popcorn Chicken.  Nuking about 1 1/2 cups of corn and heating up a jar of Hienz chicken gravy. Lol, fun part,  Place a serving of Mashed potaoes in a bowl, dump on a serving of corn, place a handful of Popcorn chicken over the corn, add gravy over the top. This chicken bowl which is a KFC meal gets shredded cheddar cheese over it. My kids like the cheese but I don't really like cheese in my gravy.  Total meal takes at most, 20 minutes to prepare.The more you nuke the less cleanup later. Makes 5 good servings.

I am not a very big fan of instant potatoes but I have found that the Instant Sour Cream And Chive Mix isvery good. 

Well thats enough cooking for tonight. When this gets boring I hope someone yells stop or enough.

Deep Dish Lasagna Pizza

I did the Pepperoni Lasagna blog and now am craving lasagna. So many of my friends have said that they are going to make lasagna too.  Leave it to me to have to want to try something new.

I have been seeing an advertisement on the TV from Pizza Hut showing off a lasagna topping pizza. Hmmmmm. Sounds interesting to me. But sorry to say I am not a Pizza Hut fan. I love pizza but prefer them to be made traditionally. If I want a premade crust I will go get a frozen pizza and just bake it myself. I love making my own doughs, bread, pizza, sour dough, pasta, pretzels, bagles ect.

I visited the City of Chicago a few years back for a Carpenters Convention. Of course that meant alot of eating out and tasting the native cuisine. The one item that my family had that stands out most vividly was the Chicago Deep Dish Pizza. This style of pizza was actually a two layer pizza that was baked like a pie. A layer of pizza dough and toppings with another layer of dough over that one topped with sauce and cheese. Hmmmm, don't the layers sound familiar. "Insert Macs idea light bulb here." Why not make a Deep Dish style lasagna pizza?

So my goal for dinner tonight will to develope a deep dish lasagna pizza. I of course will use pepperoni sausage and a ricotta, mozzerella and parmesan with egg mixture for the filling. The top layer will just be sauce, mozzerella, and of course, more pepperoni. If my expieriments work well I think I will have some bragging rights on this one.

My Deep Dish Lasagna Pizza Creation

I hope that the above pictures have been posted because I have never tried doing this before in such quanity. My expieriment was a great success and I believe I have just invented the greatest pizza that I have ever had. The only problem that I had was that as the pizza baked all the pepperoni on the top kinda slid to the center. I will post the recipes for my master dough and for my homeade pizza sauce in a future blog. I wish you all could smell and taste what I have made because it is so good....

Merry Poppins

To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist,

Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall

for the benefit of the AARP.  One of the musical numbers she performed was

"My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music."



Here are the lyrics she used:



Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.



Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things.



When the pipes leak,

When th! e bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don't feel so bad.



Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.



Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.



When the joints ache,

When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Pepperoni Lasagna

Seems that I have shocked the world with the mention of Pepperoni in lasagna and I have been asked to post a recipe. A few blogs back I have one on how much I love to use pepperoni. I really love it in a pasta sauce because it gives  a little spicy kick.I have had so many Italians, my wife included in this catagory, tell me that they have never used pepperoni in this way. Shocking to me. My family growing up used pepperoni  whenever we could.

The use of pepperoni in lasagna is no big deal. I cook a pot of homeade sauce. I slice up 2 sticks of my favorite brand of pepperoni which is Hormel. I prefer the sticks over presliced because I like the slices of pepperoni to be about 1/4" thick. I add the slices except for about a good handfull to the sauce and let it simmer for about an hour so that the pepperoni absorbs some of the sauce and the sauce gets that little spicy kick from the pepperoni flavor.

For a cheese filling I prefer the taste of cottage cheese over Ricotta cheese. I usually mix 3 cups of drained cottage cheese, 1 cup of mozerella cheese, 1/2 cup of grated cheese, 2 beaten eggs and salt and pepper to taste.

If I want a meat sauce I will add about a lb of browned ground beef to the sauce, sometimes I will blend a mixture of ground beef and Italian sausage that has been crumbled. My wife likes to use the ground beef, pork and veal mixture.

To build the lasagna I usually coat the bottom of a rectangular casserole dish with olive oil and then sauce. I then place a layer of cooked lasagna noodles. I don't fully cook the lasagna noodles. I usually cook them for about 8 minutes, I only want the noodles to be pliable. They will finish cooking as they bake  in the sauce. Spoon a layer of the meat sauce over this layer. Another layer of noodles and then the cheese mixture. Another layer of noodles and then meat sauce.  After the top layer of noodles go on I will cover with sauce, Sprinkle the top with mozerella cheese and then place that good handfull of pepperoni on the surface like a pizza. I like to cover the lasagna and place it in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes, remove cover and bake about another 15 minutes or until the cheese on the top is a nice golden brown. I then remove the lasagna from the oven and allow it to cool and set for about 15 minutes so that  it can be cut and served without falling appart.

I hope that someone out there mixes some pepperoni into their sauce and find that they enjoy it as much as those around me do.  I find it very enjoyable and really proud of myself when I get a request for it from friends when they come over for a meal.

 

DUI Georgia Style

 DUI - GEORGIA  STYLE

>

> > > >> >Only a Georgian could think of this ... from

> the county where

> > drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this

> true  story.

> > > >> >Recently a routine police patrol was parked

> outside a bar in

> > Canon, Georgia.

> > > >> >

> > > >> >After last call the officer noticed a man

> leaving the bar so

> > > >> intoxicated that he could barely walk. The

> man  stumbled around

> the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer

> quietly observing.

> > > >> >

> > > >> >After what seemed an  eternity and trying

> his keys on five

> > different vehicles, the man managed  to find his

> car which he fell

> into.

> > > >> >He sat there for a few minutes as a  number

> of other patrons

> left

> the bar and drove  off.

> > > >> >

> > > >> >Finally he started the car, switched the

> wipers on and off  (it

> > was a fine, dry summer night) -- flicked the

> blinkers on, then off a

> > couple of times, honked the horn and then switched

> on the lights. He

> moved

> > the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a

> little and then remained

> > still for a few more minutes as some more of the

> other patron vehicles

> > left.

> > > >> >At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled

> out of the parking lot

> > and started to drive slowly down the road. The

> police officer,

> > having patiently waited all this time, now started

> up the patrol car,

> > put on the flashing lights and promptly pulled the

> man over and

> carried

> > out a breathalyzer test.

> > > >> >

> > > >> >To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated

> no evidence of the

> > man having consumed any alcohol at all!

> Dumbfounded, the officer

> > said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the

> police station.

> This

> > > >> breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

> > > >> >"I doubt it," said the truly proud

> Hillbilly...

> > > >> >"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

What's For Dinner

Ok, I am a glutten for punishment. We poured the footings today for the mansion we are going to build. 44 yrds of concrete just for the footings alone.  I come home after a 1 1/2  hour commute, get cleaned up and then like a dummy I volunteer to cook dinner. I think maybe I did it just so I could do a blog on it, lol.

We have always like the Hamburger Helper Beef Stroganoff. We are always dissatisfied by the amount that those little packettes make so I had made up my own homeade version and my family enjoys it so much more than the kind in tthose packettes.  Before I made the recipe I checked so many cooking sites for a recipe but was very disapointed by what I found. I didn't want something calling for fillet mingon or beef tenderloin. So the following is tthe recipe that I came up with.

Brown 1 lb of Hamburger  in a large saute pan that has a lid that can be used later in the recipe. Drain off excess fat from the hamburger.  Add  4 cups of water and 1 packette of  lipton beefy onion soup mix and a 5 oz can of mushroom pieces if you like them. Bring to a boil and then add 1 lb of Barilla brand Bow Tie pasta. Bring back to a boil and cover the pan with the lid. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. By this time most of the liquid has been absorbed. Remove from heat and stir in 3/4 cups of sour cream. If the sauce looks to thick add about 1/2 cup of milk. There is enough heat in the pasta to heat the milk and sour cream. Salt and pepper to taste and add about 1 table spoon of worcester sauce if you like the flavor. 

 If you want something a little different with a Chinese flair, don't add the sour cream and milk. Add some broccoli, a quarter teaspoon of ginger, 2 cloves of garlic and 2 tablespoons of Soy Sauce. I can see Vero cringing at the thought of Soy Sauce, lol. Seems she isn't use to Soy Sauce. It is not a condiment used in her part of West Virginia. I thought I would throw the Chinese version in just for her.

Well. it is 6:00 here so I had better get cookin.

Cooking Sunday Breakfast

As things go here in our happy (lol) home, if I am home I cook. Sunday breakfast is a tradition here and I really enjoy making it.Being someone from the North East but having a mother from West Virginia the southern breakfast has always been an influence on what I usually prepare for the family. Biscut with sausage gravy is a must. Most of the people I know here in the North East have never sat down to a breakfast with something called sausage gravy and most of the biscuts made are from that can you would pop open or from good old Bisquik.

I met Vero online and she taught me how to make her style  of biscut and I must say that they are excellent and now I make them almost every Sunday with a little variance here and there that make them my biscuts now. Lol. The hardest thing for me to do to prepare these biscuts was to find a product called self rising flour. I can finally get it now and it has become something I use for so many different things. Blueberry muffins being one of my kids favorites.

So breakfast here usually consist of my homeade pancakes or waffles, Homeade Vero biscuts, Bob Evans sausage gravy, Eggs of course and at times I like to make a nice fruit salad or maybe fry up some potatoes.

If you like pancakes I will share my recipe and I hope you will try it. These pancakes are fluffy, and tender, they just melt in your mouth.

Recipe

2 cups of unbleached white flour, 1/2 teaspoon of salt, 2 tablespoons of sugar, White or Brown, @ teaspoons of Baking Powder and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda. Sift all dry ingredients together. In a 4 cup measuring cup or bowl mix together 2 cups of milk and 1 teaspoon of lemon juice to create buttermilk, stir well, add 2 beaten eggs and 2 tablespoons of melted butter and then add liquid to dry mix and mix to moisten all ingredients but don't over mix. Leave it lumpy. I would also say that you shouldn't mix the wet and the dry until your griddle is heated and you are ready to start cooking the pancakes.

I usually cook my pancakes on a preheated 400 degree griddle that has been slightly oiled. I drop about 1/4 cup of batter for each pancake. As the first side cooks I like to maybe sprinkle the top side with  some blueberries and cinnamon, or chopped apples and cinnamon, or some sliced bananas. All work well with this batter. Our favorite though is banana and chocolate chips. For those I may add a teaspoon of vanilla to the batter. When the outsides of the pancakes are set and the tops have popped all the air bubbles I flip the cakes and let them cook for about another minute.  I like to keep the cooked pancakes warm in a 200 degree oven as I finish cooking the rest of the batch. The recipe will give you about 12 pancakes.  To really boost the presentation I may add just a dolope of raspberry jam with melted butter on top of each pancake when I serve them. And of course don't forget the syrup.

Well, enjoy your breakfast. And Please, come again.

 

 

My First Cooking Blog

As some of my friends know I love to cook so I figured I would finally do a blog  concerning cooking.

One thing I really like is pepperoni.Because I love to cook with it certain people have given me the nick name Chef Boy R Dee. I laugh at that name for the reason that I have tasted some of that stuff out of a can and find it horrible.

Growing up my family was hooked on pepperoni. We didn't eat it on crackers with cheese though. We actually cooked it in our tomato sauces to serve over pasta. We had hot sammiches that was like a hot sub that consisted of a couple cans of stewed tomatoes in a crock pot and then as much pepperoni you could fit into the pot to fill it. Slow cooked it all day and the pepperoni would absorb all of the juice of the tomatoes. This would be served on a torpedo style roll with Mozerella cheese or parmesan cheese. You may think this strange but this hot sammich actually became very famous in my home town and one could get one in any bar and grill.

Lasagna, I don't know how anyone could eat a lasagna without pepperoni in it. The spicyness of the pepperoni gives the lasagna that BAM that that cooking show nut always adds to his food. The same goes for a baked Zitti or even served in any pasta sauce. If one gets a good quality pepperoni like Hormel the fat content isn't as high as most. The grease from the pepperoni prevents the pasta from sticking but I am sure it's not as healthy as olive oil.

I am sure almost everybody that eats pizza has tried a pepperoni pizza atleast once. Most enjoy it. That is one of the reasons why I do not understand why pepperoni isn't used in more dishes.  I make a pepperoni Stromboli which is a bread or pizza dough rolled out, layer pepperoni and mozerella cheese on it and roll it up jelly roll style and bake it. Everyone that I have had try this Stromboli loves it. Another simple item that I make is to wrap pepperoni and cheese in egg roll wrappers and deep fry them. I think a Chinese person would faint if they ever had one but these hors devours are excellent party snacks with a little tomato dipping sauce.

I must say that with pepperoni I have always prefered the stick form when buying it. The pre sliced stuff is always to thin and for some reason the pre packed pre sliced just doesn't have the same flavor or kick to it. I have been told  that pepperoni is un healthy due to the fat in it and concerns regarding heart burn. If one doesn't like the fat then all they have to do is boil it for a few minutes and much of the fat cooks out and then the pepperoni can be used in whatever recipe that one would want to use it in.

Entry for September 07, 2006

Sorry about leaving that last blog up all week. I just haven't found the time to really do a real one in awhile.

Seems that everyone is having a good time with 360 lately. I wish I could be on here durring the daytime because by the time I get on everyone has wore themselves out for the day and have run off to play elsewheres. 

I leave for work around 5:15 am and don't usually log on in the mornings. So, if you read this Have a " GOOD MORNING" and also a "GOOD DAY".

Something Special For LABOR DAY

This story was sent to me and I had to share it. Enjoy, Mac.

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome

including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have

you laughing out LOUD!



Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.



Here's what happened:



Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something

wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.



"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you

help?"



I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his

bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking

stressed. I immediately knew what to do.



"Honey," I called, " come look at the lizard!"



"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."



"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert an! d Ernie , Mom!"



I was equally outraged.



"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce,"

I accused my wife.



"Well, what do you wan t me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she

inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)



"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most

loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).



"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.



"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she

informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)



By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I

shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.



"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about

to witness the miracle of birth."



"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.



"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny

little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to! know. (I really do think she was

being snotty here, too. Don't you?)



We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny

foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.



"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my

wife whispered, horrified.



"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.



"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next

appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more

times with the same results.



"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could

talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my

house?)



"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my

son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.



"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be

so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me i! s one t hing,

but this boy

is of her womb, for God's sake.)



The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little

animal through a magnifying glass.



"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.



"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs.

Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"



I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.





"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.



"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In

fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is

a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male

species, they

um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He

blushed, glancing at my wife.



Well,you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."



We were silent, absorbing this.



"So Ernie's just...just... excited," my wife offered.



"Exactly," t! he vet replied, relieved that we understood.



More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle.

And then even laugh loudly.



"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I

married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.



Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just...that...I'm

picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more

air to bellow in laughter once more.



"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the

lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to

be okay.



"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you 've done, Dad," he told me.



"Oh, you have NO idea,"



Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.



2 - Lizards - $140...



1 - Cage - $50...



Trip to the Vet - $30...



Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie.....Priceless!

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs

Good Bye Crocodile Hunter

Yesterday I posted a funny about a vicious Dog Pack attacking a gator. While reading it I was having visions of Steve Irwin in the back ground because he always cracked me up with the stupid stunts he would do. Through the years I have seen him do what ever dangerous thing he could do with Crocodiles, dangerous spiders, snakes, sharks for a rating. I do believe that on the snake episode he was bitten in the face by one of the worlds deadliest snakes, a black viper.

Well, Steve Irwin was killed unfortunetly. He was barbed in the chest by a Stingray while doing a documentary on them. He was only 44 years old. I guess he pushed his luck to far and now he is gone, just like that, poof.

I hope that he went his way doing what he wanted to do. I really hope that the work with the Stingrays was not something he didn't want to do but did  anyway because it was his job.  Not being an expert on Stingrays  but seeing several so called documentaries on them I always thought that Stingrays were kinda placid creatures. The one that got him barbed him in the chest and ripped a gash into his heart. I am sure that if the ratings are there the clip will someday be shown of his death.

Cat In Heaven

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."







God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.







A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat.







The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have to run again."







God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.







About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"







The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are delicious!"